I’m always wanting to do something and somehow, I find myself thinking about it more than actually doing it. Sometimes I’ll even go as far as to actually buy the things I need to actually create the things I dream about, but some way or another, I manage to psych myself out of doing it somehow. I’m strangely non-committal when it comes to the actual act of doing things. It’s maddening.

For example, I have wanted to make custom DS cases, create loads of plushies, make tiny slime keychains, decorate pottery, make my own clothes, recreate an 8-bit scene via cross-stitch, embroider dish towels, fix up my cameras (all six of them), create a darkroom, take up a vegetarian diet, make my own yogurt, learn how to dance, play bingo, frame all of my best photos, learn a programming language, play all of Imagine games and maintain a tumblr on the project, keep a spark file for my poetry, go back to school…

My spare bedroom isn’t full of things, but it feels like it is. There’s a bookshelf with fabrics, glue, and other crafting odds and ends on it. A sewing machine collects dust. I have sketched out a custom label for the goods I’ll be making, but don’t quite have the nerve to follow through with it. An old metal record bin is the perfect size for all the scrapbooking paper I’d be more willing to use if work didn’t make me so paper-averse.

Having hobbies is expensive, and being creative is exhausting. I don’t know how not to have ideas constantly bombarding me, though. I’m creative to a fault, and it would be much easier if I were boring and straightforward, but I don’t have that luxury. Oh, what it would be like to be creative and well-off!

• I get to draw out detailed plans on virtual graph paper.
• I try to take shortcuts, but end up having to go the long way around in order to make the shortcut happen in the first place.
• I always avoid big problems at first, but they always seem to sneak up on me while I’m trying to deal with smaller, more manageable ones.
• Everyone I know is, like, way ahead of me.
• I have no idea what I’m doing.